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05 Musings: Phases

I’m at the phase - quarter life crisis. One phase at a time; one experience at a time. I recently fell in love with this phrase “ I’m in the reservation of my mind” Aren’t we all? Our mind reflects our values, our opinions and it dictates our actions. People may influence, they may enforce - at the end of the day we are the true power of ourselves. For the first and second time, I’m finally able to say I enjoy both fiction books that I’ve borrowed and the recent book about creativity really made me appreciate the beauty of words when beautifully inscribed on print. The way it weaves into your imagination, gently painting leaves of an auburn array of tones that cascades down as the words just flow seamlessly down into a serene pool. Details are beautiful when they are detailed for imagination - to put thoughts into words and influence the reader to feel what it’s truly like, is an art itself to appreciate. Time has whizzed past like the epidemic that dawns upo
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/DecemberAt24/

Three more days - or rather two to be exact, till I fully hit 24. I already feel 24, what does the official birthday even mean - when I already feel 25. Obviously I'm here because I'm inspired to write from a strong feeling. I never thought I will truly come to like someone who can match my standards; who I now feel is too good for me. It was always in the back of my head - this won't last, if I don't even like myself, how can I expect anyone to do it in return? If there is no one true love - I rather not love. If no one can see me for who I really am - I rather not devote. My insecurity has always been haunting me; yes my biggest fear is hypocrisy. I'm such a laughable hypocrite because I want to be honest and that is my greatest peeve; yet I can never be. Deep to the core I'm selfish, I'm still at a lost, why am I like this, I've matured yet I'm still succumbing to wearing different masks. In the three months plus, I never though
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/Today/

Today is epic. I see the whirl of human err, I hear the voices of disputes, I feel the chock of black smoke. As Aunt Agony Ascends, Words flow, opinions flow. Anger engulfs, capsulate and abolishes, O' young one were you assimilated by assumptions, Entrapped in the bubble you protected yourself with? Anger, frustration, despair led to flight. One whose soul lingered for the other pair to flee. One who snickered and gloom, One who listened and remained impartial. Who was right and what is wrong? It makes no sense, but it tells a story. So flow and wither together with the trillions of moments out there. For the night is young and we have our paths. In stars we seek, in rhymes we find peace. -- 9/4/15
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04 Musings: Unbroken Dreams

It's wee hours in the morning and looking back at my posts I see and concur that my values are the same. Previous night was eventful as such that again I felt the workload deepening and again the incompetency that perhaps I'm not right; at the same time I'm probably the only person who is willing to shoulder all these? Slept at 10+ PM and woke at intervals but I wanted to continue sleeping since I was albeit shag. Woke at 3+ AM thinking about work and decided that I should finish it once and for all. Now I'm here at 5:30AM, looking at Facebook once again I'm reminded of KFC's brilliant move in taking out straws. [ Recycling ] It's a familiar concept - but why do so many people wish to ignore it? Not only is it an environmental effect, marine and biodiversity are suffering. We pay tax for it, but at the same time, people don't understand that it is a 'privilege' to have excess. Knowing that we're living in privilege and that ther
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03 Musings: Privilege

Privilege. Owning a laptop is a privilege, having air-condition and a room and living in the safest country in the World is a privilege. Without a lack of money or having to worry about survival - that itself is the biggest privilege I can afford in the World. It's a term that's taken for granted so easily, especially for where I'm geographically located. Being granted a Citizenship of a first-world country is a privilege itself. Once the basic needs of survival have been met, now we're focused on improving the quality of life. With high-quality life conditions met more or less next, will be grooming ourselves from head to toe and seeking entertainment. Just seeking these out alone, itself is time-consuming and overwhelming to manage. Here's where we neglect most - the people around us or outside the circle. It's so easy to get entrapped around your own bubble and not care about what's happening outside your control. That is where most - if not all
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#02 Musings: Self-worth

Self-worth. It is something that everyday normal people battle with and irrevocably the pains and evils of all teenage drama. You're mechanically built to judge a person by their appearance and you analyze it against what is 'socially acceptable.' Against your upbringing and beliefs ingrained to you by family, you form your own set of values and cultivate your image based on your strengths. Once you don't meet the set standard of 'society norms' you fall back and start battling with your own self-image. Why is it that some people have that 'it' factor that you don't have? It's such a theatrical element played out over and over again. ----- 9/5/2016
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An Ideal Type

My friends always ask me. 'Are you not interested in any guys?' Yes and No. I just dont see someone that I feel strongly enough but yes I am open to finding one. The next question 'What's your ideal type?' Usually I say chemistry, but to my best friends I say 'intelligence' My ideal type is someone whose - intelligent - there I've said ittt. Im not being a snob and labelling based on status quo. But someone whose emotionally competent with me. Someone who challenge my beliefs Someone who makes me want to be better Someone I look up to Someone who i share a passionate belief with Someone whose like my best friend ...and of course chemistry. Although they would fall in automatically, if they fulfil what I envision. Yes, I value intelligence but above all; an impartial heart to be able to think consciously and act with a heart. - (Lightning on the Wave is an amazing series and I really love Harry's mind - the oath in The Alliance
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